Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Max Brenner - Paddington, Sydney

One day, my mom (who's visiting me from the Big Durian, this time sans her annoying tai-tai friends) and I went shopping in Paddington. It's her second visit in three months (thanks for the headache, mom).

After mere 3 hours of wandering around swiping (her) plastic cards in exchage of goodies and items to fill the massive voids in our lives, mom looked fatigued as she started to drag her "shopping shoes" (which are Sergio Rossi flats, FYI - she said that she can last for hours walking in those. BTW she also has "shopping tops" and "shopping jeans/pants" which are essentially outfits that are super comfortable yet stylish enough, and can be taken off within seconds without ruining her hair too much in fitting rooms, thus are suitable for strenuous, full-forced shopping days) along the pavement.

She said that she's tired but we're just halfway through the shopping area, and wondered if we should call it a day. Right then, I know just the thing that we good mother-loving sons should do in that situation - take her to Max Brenner.

Within seconds after sipping chocolate and munching crepes, my mom felt utterly refreshed, pumped, and ready for round two of plastic-swiping (The sugar was enough to sustain her for another 3 hours of fun!). 'Twas a remarkable day, even though she almost got a salesperson fired at a certain shop with a big horse in it (you should know which one if you're a Sydneysider)!

Toffee Milk Chocolate Frappe

-> A staple drink. What I love about this is that this is actually THE only chocolate drink that is actually thirst-quenching without much of that unpleasant aftertaste that makes you crave for a glass of water.

Rating: 8.5/10

Look at that wonderful, wonderful machine. Kind of willy wonka-ish, no? I bet half of you would just dunk your hand inside that and lick the chocolate off your palm. The other half of you would just drown your heads and suck the machine dry.

Anyway, while most ladies out there probably have weaknesses towards chocolate, my mom is quite remarkable in the sense that the only word she uttered when looking at that machine was "Ew". Yup, my mother is completely chocolate-resistant. She's probably one of the first women in our family who politely reminded my dad not to waste money on bringing her chocolates from his occasional overseas business trips in the early nineties and bring her the coveted Moschino Chocolate Bag instead. Remember the early nineties, when everybody owns at least one Moschino item? Anyway, the said bag is now a rare, vintage item - but my mom stupidly donated the said bag, in near-mint condition, to our church several years ago!! (all of her bags, vintage or not, are near-mint - it isn't because she takes good care of them, it's because usually, after using them several times, she gets a new one, and the former one would be retired into the depths of her closet and remain untouched for decades. Too bad she's not tech-savvy enough to set up an eBay store, she can make a fortune out of those old bags).

Nowadays, every valentine's day, she always urge members of our family not to waste money on buying her chocolates - she doesn't care much for them AND it's bad for us because our family has a long history of diabetes. Instead, she politely (always, always politely) urges us to waste even MORE money by getting her the kind of chocolates she would enjoy, such as the Mulberry dark chocolate bayswater or the ULTIMATE 'white chocolate bar': the white quilted Chanel 2.55.

Banana Praline Crepe

-> I'm not even going to talk about this. It's heaven on a piece of triangular plate.

Rating: 10/10


Anonymous said...

this post made my day!!!!!

ada apa d s & b rik???
was it THAT bad????

chocolatesuze said...

lol your mum sounds so cute! and ooh ive never seen the toffee milk frappe at my max brenner mmm must visit the paddington store now!

Anonymous said...

Hahah your mum is pro shopper!
OOohh I have to try these crepes yummmm can't believe I haven't noticed them before!

Erique Fat Owl said...


Gee, I almost feel guilty to divulge bits and pieces about my mom so much in this blog...I hope she doesn't mind, LOL
Anyway, I love to talk about my mom. She's interesting, LOL


Who's this?

Anyway, this horrible thing happened at S&B - there's this shop assistant who was carrying a box across the boutique, and the box grazed my mom's bag and left a slight scratch mark on it. My mom was mad for a moment, but decided to let it go without saying anything. After browsing around, she bought a couple of tops and left the shop. The cashier was the same girl who scratched her bag. She's also a bit snobbish, BTW.

When we got to another shop, suddenly the security alarm went off. A salesperson approached us and demanded to check our bags. My mom was appalled, she said that we'd JUST entered the shop, not leaving it - but the salesperson still insisted to check our bags. Apparently, my mom felt horrified about being treated like a thief and she NEVER gets her bag checked before, EVER.

Then, we discovered that the stupid S&B shop assistant forgot to take the security tag off one of the clothes, so we went straight back to S&B, where my mom half-yelled at the guilty shop assistant. The issue of her scratching my mom's bag also came up, obviously. Anyway, my mom said a lot of stuff, including some pretty 'sharp' ones - and demanded to see her manager. Then, the manager showed up and sent the stupid shop assistant to the back room. She apologized and said to my mom that the said shop assistant was going through a lot of things and wasn't focused on her work. She also said that they might need to let her go if she continue being that way.

My mom finally said, "next time I'm here, she'd better not be there OR ELSE!"

Scary, isn't she?

Devi said...

Arrgghh I miss Max Brenner! Thanks for posting this. You have such a great mommy! My mom doesn't like shopping that much which I don't really like since we don't share the same interest LOLz

Leony said...

Rik, hehehheeh...ampun deh, tiap kali elu post soal ur mom, selalu gue tuh makin kepingin untuk ketemu sama dia dan ngobrol-ngobrol. Bisa aja kita nyambung, or bisa juga nyokap elu itu marah-marah atas kesleboran gue yang suka asal-asalan. (Mungkin gue nampak primitif di hadapan nyokaplu yang advance itu). Benernya, there are so many stories also yang lucu about my mom, tapi secara dia regular reader of my blog, mendingan jangan deh, nanti guenya dikemplang, dan gue mesti minta maaf sambil nungging.

Sorry, gue gak ada comment soal Max Brennernya hahaha.

Eh iya, in couple weeks, gue akan ke Perth lagi loh, to celebrate Eric's Bday sekalian Easter weekend di sana. So we will be in the same continent again, for around 10 days hahaha.

cla said...

i dont know where to start... OMG chocolate OMG ur mom OMG that banana crepeeee OMG paddo OMG OMG OMG OMG ur mom wears sass n bide....
the only thing i'm not surprised at is how idiotic SAs can be... they have entertainment value u know....

Erique Fat Owl said...

1. I know, I know - I read it somewhere in your FB that you're going to perth! Hey, how 'bout meeting halfway this time non - we can go to melbourne and meet up!!! (we can catch Wicked the musical!!)

2. Mom stories? Ooh me is interested. Let's chat over the phone for this! LOL

I told you before that my mom wears S&B! But don't worry, I'm like, her unofficial fashion consultant (although she only listens to me 1 out of 10 times!) and the ones she picked looks appropriate on her. LOL.

Anonymous said...

rik, anon is me, linda..
s&b girls are all neurotic..mebeh exception for 1 or 2 in their ofis.. hahhhahhaha! please dish out the particular one's initial if you may kno... pleaseeee

Erique Fat Owl said...


Hi Lindaaa...hmm I honestly couldn't remember her name! I didn't even remember if their shop assistants wear name tags (they don't, don't they?). Aanyway, that poor girl. If that thing happened to me, I probably wouldn't be as angry as my mom, but you have to understand my mom - people asking to check her bags isn't exactly what one would be treated in, oh well, like Rue du Fauborg Saint-Honore, Bond Street, or even Plaza Indonesia and CERTAINLY not Orchard Road (know what I mean?) LOL. I guess she's just not used to it.

Also, there is a slight chance that she becomes irritated because most security guards in shopping malls in Jakarta never ask to open her bag. She probably does not have the image that she's up to no good, as you can imagine. They very very seldom even check her car before going into the mall carpark (well I guess people driving the kind of car she drives doesn't get checked as well, know what I mean?). She loves it when she doesn't have to be stopped and having her car checked - although I am absolutely appalled by this uniquely Indonesian double standard. Just because a person drives a certain type of car, doesn't mean that they're no threat to security, isn't it? That's why I never object when I'm security-checked.

My mom is quite funny, really - she remembers every little useless details like which shopping mall would security-check which type of cars. My mom generally hates going to shopping malls driving a, well, 'nice' car, because she said 'nice' cars draws too much attention that only the nouveau-riche would like to attract. That's why she always drives 'normal' cars as much as possible. She also hates being driven by our chauffeur to the mall (there's a reason behind this. It's quite interesting, and I'll tell you if you want to know!) But she hates security checks more than she hates driving a 'nice' car, so she would remember if mall X usually skip checking 'nice' cars, or mall Y always check every car no matter if it's 'nice', 'normal', or other types of car. And then, she would determine which car she'll drive accordingly. Seriously, sometimes I think she has wayy to much time on her hand to remember these stuff, LOL

I remembered around the time when Pacific Place (Jakarta, not HK) just opened, she was invited to one of its tenant's opening party. That was coincidentally my mom's first time going to Pacific Place. I remembered she was rather shocked to find out that she needs to put her bag into the x-ray machine upon entry and her body checked by metal detector by the security. Even though everyone had to go through the procedure, she made a verbal complaint to the security staff stating, "I am going to shop, not to fly on an airplane! do I look like a terrorist?"

...and when she discovered that the x-ray machine is actually a little bit wet (well, moist was more like it), and some of the liquid on the x-ray belt had transferred to her bag, she was furious. Thank god I was there and take her away before she could sue the shopping centre (she's a woman, what can you say? Women protect their bags like they would protect their children! LOL)

After we're quite a distance away from the security check-up spot, she grumbled "Thank goodness it's not my new XX bag or I'll send the cleaner's bill to the management!"

Now, everytime she goes to Pacific Place, she made sure that the x-ray machine is dry. If it's not, she would ask the security staff to dry the machine first before placing her bag!

She's quite fussy, really. Women. They never cease to interest me.

Anonymous said...

lol! totally got it!

indeed, it is very very embarassing when the security alarm beeps; everyone looking at you ,,or even sneering for a negative reasons...gyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! scarry!!!!!

rik,,, i need your shops + cafes / resto list for japan.. ASAP!!

thank youuuuuuuu

Erique Fat Owl said...

Japan? Leave it to me, I'll do my best!!!! Mau sekalian meet up and lunch2 bareng Lin? I can make you a great list of shops + food! (Tokyo only, though...don't ask me about other cities, LOL)

Su said...

chocolate hangbag. LOL a woman after my own heart. your mum sounds like one classy mummy

Anonymous said...

The best thing there is lychee/coconut drink yet there is a chance it has a flat taste to it, just like my experience.....